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A Question Came up about Suicide

~ Pam Marolla ~ Leave a comment

A senior friend of mine from long ago and far away drops me a note every once in awhile. She was a friend of my mother. That’s how far back we go.

She sent me a heartbreaking question this morning. A relative had died by suicide. Other family members were telling a young grieving widow that the devil had gotten into her husband – with the accompanying assumption that hell will be his next address. “What is your view on suicide?

I’ve talked to a number of people in the last week that are in really hard places. I’ve been there myself. I’m going to share my response just in case it is helpful to anyone else.

First, I need to point out that I am a Lutheran pastor. We baptize infants before they can do anything to earn God’s favor. God’s salvation is a gift which we do not earn, but can embrace with our gratitude. We do profess our faith and share it. We just don’t believe there is a need for many multiple repetitions of the “Sinner’s Prayer” hoping that one will seem earnest enough for God to hear and accept. We are justified by faith as a free gift.

24 they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God put forward as a sacrifice of atonement by his blood, effective through faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over the sins previously committed; 26 it was to demonstrate at the present time his own righteousness, so that he is righteous and he justifies the one who has the faith of Jesus. (Romans 3 – NRSVUE)

My Response

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry to hear about this heartbreaking tragedy. The devil may be a deceiver, but is not more powerful than God. I believe that God is Lord of all time and eternity and God is love. I believe that when we are done with our bodies we will see Jesus without the filters of our limited human understanding. We will see Christ as True Light and Love. It will be so irresistible, few if any could possibly turn away from the Good Shepherd who loves us and longs to hold us safe and secure forever. That is the source of hope that propels me forward when nothing else makes sense.

God would not condemn one who was hurting so badly that they couldn’t bear the thought of living. Those are the people Jesus chased after and embraced in the Gospels. (John 10 Good Shepherd. Luke 15 and Matthew 18 – the lost sheep)

(she shares my political leanings, and I have been sharing these words to keep up my own spirits – “Rome fell. Jesus lived”)

Adverse Religious Experiences/Trauma

~ Pam Marolla ~ Leave a comment

Our congregation’s Safe Space group had a booth at Galesburg Pride this month. We heard a lot of stories of painful encounters between people and their [former] congregations. Our congregation is a place committed to helping people heal from the painful experiences. “Adverse Religious Experiences” are what we call them. If you pile up the effects of adverse religious experiences, the result is Religious Trauma.

My doctoral thesis highlighted the liberating nature of God – from Egypt to Exodus and to the end of time. I wanted to read deeply and study God as liberator because the predominant message of Christianity in the US is anything BUT “Good news for the poor and excluded.” Once you start reading scripture through this lens, it is difficult to do otherwise.

The following is a picture I created for people to share. Any message you hear about Jesus that shames people who have already been pushed to the edges of society [often by other Christians] or that doesn’t speak of Jesus as a healer, liberator, or One who loves unconditionally, may be a religious message, but it is not about Jesus – the light, the life, the living water, the Savior, the bread of life, living God, teacher, redeemer, and much more.